Getting Personal

Last weekend I watched You've Got Mail with my 10-year-old niece. I watch this movie every fall, or just before fall hits. I used to live in New York City, and the scenery and weather is the perfect entrée into the new season. I admit that watching it last weekend was a little premature weather-wise, seeing as it was during the dead heat of a Houston summer, but it was one of the only PG selections in my library.

In the movie, Joe Fox (Tom Hanks) uses a quote from The Godfather to defend the opening of his super-sized bookstore, which will in turn force Kathleen Kelly's (Meg Ryan) mom-and-pop bookshop to close. The quote, "It's not personal...it's business," struck a chord with me, as I find the real estate business to get personal often.

The sale or purchase of a home in itself is nothing but personal, investment properties aside. People live their lives and make their memories in their homes. It can be hard for some sellers to even attend closing. Some cope with this by distancing themselves and closing separately from the buyers. Then others want to become friends with the new homeowners to retain that connection to their soon-to-be former home.

Agent-to-agent negotiations can get personal. They shouldn't, but sometimes agents get emotionally involved and do or say things they regret later. The point is to be the voice of the client, whether the agent's counsel is represented in that voice or not. But attacking the other agent on a personal level is not the fastest way to gain their respect.

Now where the Godfather quote bests comes into play is when buyers or sellers choose their Realtor. "It's not personal, Sally Jo Realtor, it's business."

There have been times when I've wished a buyer or seller would just say this to me. At least it would give me the opportunity to respond by saying, "I understand. Hopefully, I can earn your business in the future."

In Houston, social circles are really small. The city is comprised of 2.2 million people within 600 square miles (and 5.7 million people in the entire metropolitan area). 25,000-plus members of HAR makes 1 Realtor for every 88 Houston residents, not including those that are non-MLS agents (a lot of folks on the commercial side). Point being, people are not only bound to know more than one Realtor, but they're also bound to be good friends with more than one Realtor. Now some buyers or sellers don't even want to work with their friends. But at the end of the day, wouldn't it be comforting to know that your friend, the professional representing you, is looking out for your best interests?

In my three years of experience as a Realtor, I can already count a number of occasions where friends have been too timid to admit they've chosen another Realtor friend over me, or they prefer to use a Realtor they don't know socially. They've avoided the subject entirely and made some awkward moments for themselves. I've even had a friend flat out lie that they were not selling their house. (Hello!? I see your house online.) Ben Franklin gave good advice when he said: "Honesty is the best policy."

If any of you are out there reading this now, know this: It's okay. I promise I'm not going to egg your house! But I would like to earn your business next time. Tell me how. It's not personal... it's business.